mostly nonfiction and bakersfield news | November 13th, 2009
Witch Black and Baby Blue
By James Michael Blaine
Chaos everywhere in the five county area and by the time I creep into the last ER I’ve had more than my fill of manic-depressives and opiate suicides gone awry. I drop my gear and sift through the patient fridge for a Gatorade G2.
“No Grape?” I ask Jody, the nurse.
Swiping her name [...]
Last Man Standing
by JM Blaine
Robert Ducote was sucking down ponies from a 24 pack and racing his souped-up Chevy 85 mph down Twin Bridges Road.
He lobbed an empty bottle over the top of his car and laughed as it shattered against the black and yellow sign.
Ducote had a smart mouth and we were always going back and forth, [...]
Summer’s Gone
By James Michael Blaine
I stop by the spot where the old bar used to be and dig through the ashes of days gone by.
We used to be the hottest college nightspot in town. Our Thursday night line would wind down to the Campus Fil-A-Sack and back but now they’re closed too. I heard a strip [...]
When Absurdist Existential Creative-Nonfictionalist Writers D.J. Old Skool Nite at Southern Skating Rinks: A Line by Line Philosophical Exegesis of Too Much Booty in the Pants
Get jiggy with it with this post from Irresponsibles writer James Michael Blaine from TheNervousBreakdown.com.
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For those who asked for rink tales….
“I will become even more undignified, I will dance all the days of my life” – King David – II Samuel:14
(please note that the original six minute and forty-three second 12inch dance mix of this [...]
Magdalene
By James Michael Blaine
Mary Magdalene waits in the drunk tank, shackled at the wrists and latched into the dark green restraint apparatus known as the “pickle suit.” Looking like a cross between a catcher’s guard and a straightjacket, it immobilizes the arms and legs, preventing the inmate from harming self or others.
“Where you want to [...]
That Last Piece of Dreaming Just Before You Wake Up
By James Michael Blaine
The old owl towed a talon filled with Brylcream through his towering do, arching up the peaks like Wolverine.
He had fluttered down to me from the stars as I sat side-saddle with my bike leaned back at the bend in the levee just behind the pump house door.
“Brylcream?” I quizzed.
“Ebay,” he brayed. [...]
Why Wrestlers Die Young
By James Michael Blaine
Recently, after watching Mickey Rourke’s film The Wrestler, I told a story on our sister site The Nervous Breakdown from my adventures in the world of professional wrestling. This is a brief editorial, in reaction to today’s news clips on the sudden death of 33 year old wrestler Andrew Martin. Once a [...]
Tilt, Cowboy: Live From the Clermont Lounge
By James Michael Blaine
Hot Atlanta afternoon and I was holed up in the back booth of the infamous Clermont Lounge watching Holly the Latex Amazon bump her freakishly high hip bones against the Creature from the Black Lagoon pinball machine.
Holly was well over six foot tall and always tricked out in fetish shop clothing and [...]
Psalm Zero: Jesus On The Mainline
Ethical concerns over cloning and sexual robotics need not worry the righteous too terribly, not so much as slowly eating away our inability to feel truth and honor, life and living, compassion not rooted in control or diffidence, of turning selves into spiritual clones and pop culture probots while religious zombie robots long to eat [...]
This Beat Is My Recital
There’s a 55-year-old woman with her hand down the back of my pants while I am rapping “It’s Tricky” in downtown Nashville and I almost fall off my roller skates.
Some glassy-eyed chick in a Commodores tour shirt stumbles on stage to hand me a drink and trips over the cables, splattering Crown and Coke down [...]
