mostly nonfiction and bakersfield news | June 23rd, 2009
Two Very Strange Rat Tales: The Uninvited And The Ancient Tale Of The Samurai Rat
If you’ve had a bat in your belfry, a mouse in your cupboard, or worse, rats in your home, then you will want to read these two very strange tales. The first story comes from D.R. Haney. He’s the author of the book “Banned For Life.” His tale “The Uninvited” gets a bit spooky. The following piece, “The Ancient Story Of The Samurai Rat” is as comedic a rat tale as you will ever encounter. It’s by me. So don’t be afraid…
“The Uninvited” – By D.R. Haney
One night maybe five years ago, as I was revising, yet again, Banned for Life, I heard a sound: a slight thump, as if a matchbox had fallen to the floor. I stopped typing and, now hearing nothing, decided it must have been my imagination.
Then, the following night, I heard another sound, this one louder. It seemed to come from my bathroom, and when I investigated and found nothing there, I wondered for a moment if my apartment was haunted.
I lived at the time, and still do, in a Spanish-style bungalow that was built in the 1910s in Echo Park. My entire neighborhood is said to have once been the backlot for a movie studio owned by Tom Mix, a great Western star of his day, and that’s partly why I thought my place might be haunted.
“The Ancient Story Of The Samurai Rat” – By Nick Belardes
I once lived in a little white house near downtown Bakersfield in the Oleander area. A rental, it wasn’t a fancy house. Probably built in the 1950s, it was still comfortable, had three rooms, and was just down the street from quaint homes built in the 1920s. Yet like some forgotten pagoda on a no-name Osaka hill, its cobwebs held secret voices and its cracks harbored spirit warriors.
There’s a design studio next door owned by Mike Willis. He was also my landlord. He once walked into a store in a flamboyant voice, and while making a return, tried to convince a couple that the rolling pin they were buying was a sort of fancy walking stick. I don’t know how he stayed in character.
In the middle of a recent funeral he was staring at this guy George who was wearing a tight suit. I was staring at George too because George’s head was bulging out of the suit like some kind of jumbo mango. Suddenly Mike whispered, “Look at the size of George’s head. Is that normal? Is it growing?” We were both elbowed.
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